Teachings of Leon

Pretty star of stage and screen Alyson Hannigan thinks Leon is worthy of Godhood.

Here are Leon's complete and unexpurgated teachings. All teachings on this page are the direct word of Leon. Furthermore, in Leon's own Divine Words: "Morgan! Leon God of Style says you are my true voice on this plane. Bishop, no, Pope of the Boys of the Bread!"
- Pope Morgan I

Leon's Ten Commandments, so far

1. Thou shalt not eat the sacred bread
2. Thou shalt not wear orange trousers with pastel blue vest tops.
3. Thou shalt not compare thyself to other gym patrons.
NEW! 4. Thou shalt not use 'Reply All' on email unless you really really have to.

Leon's Style Guide

• Raising the right eyebrow is sexier than raising the left eyebrow, but raising the left eyebrow is harder to do. (This teaching is also known as 'the first theological paradox'.)
• Silverbeet is better to eat than cabbage
• Lager is better than bitter.
• Celebrate a birthday by surrounding yourself with friends and drinking to your health a lot. Then remember the good times with friends and gods alike and look to the future.
• Vampires are classy but werewolves are strong and carnal. Vampires are better, but only when they are cool.

Thus Endeth the Word of Leon

Clearly, Leon is not a verbose God whose teachings require hundreds and hundreds of pages to cover - unlike some other, wordier gods we could name who need lots and lots and lots of word to get their point across (*cough*YHWH*cough*).

Beware of Heresy and False Leons!

It has come to my attention that some charlatans and deceivers have been claiming that Leon's Divine Wish is for all to acknowledge Hathor as the Supreme God. This false prophet misrepresents Leon's holy intent.

If you hear such heresy, strike down the heretic with furious vengeance. Thus far we have not positively identified the deceiver, but all evidence suggests his name is either Bollocks The Cow, or Cow, or Adrian Carr. One of those.

Last Updated: 12 November 2004